someone needs me for something important

7th December 2022

I’m still mending this jumper.

It’s taking a long time.

I thought it had only two small holes.

But the whole jumper is nearly a hole. It needs comprehensive reinforcement.

Oh oh oh.

First of all I must check on Lopsy and Ted.

I’ve been telephoning them every day since I heard that they had The Virus.

I’m glad that Teddy and Lopsy are over the worst.

I’ll try to think of something tasty for Lopsy.

I wonder if she likes wholemeal oven-baked biscuits enrobed in rich creamy milk chocolate. They’re on offer at the Co-op at the moment.

Now I really had better get back to the jumper.

I must get it mended quickly. The weather isn’t getting any warmer.

I thought I could wear my anorak while the jumper is out of action.

Unfortunately the anorak needs mending too.

A few stitches in time would have saved ninety-nine.

I must give up procrastinating. I’ll concentrate on that next year.

The moths must have been feeling very hungry.

Ring-ring. Ring-ring.

Oh. The telephone. Who can that be?

I hope it’s not The Virus.

(I fell down the stairs a year or two ago. It was a voluntary fall, when I was feeling in need of excitement.)

Well, this is a bit of a dilemma.

Surely the medical staff know best.

And if leaving hospital too soon makes Peter worse, that will just put more pressure on the Health Service in the long run.

But he is my cousin.

And anyway, I’ve said yes now. So it’s too late to worry about it.

I think I’d better bring Peter back to my house first of all, to convalesce.

It wouldn’t be right to leave him all on his own at home, with no one to get his meals or make sure he doesn’t fall downstairs again.

But I can’t fit him on the back of my bicycle.

Perhaps Monkey could come with his fruit-kebab van to transport Peter.

I’ll telephone him.

Who else can I ask for help, I wonder.

Ellie’s very fast on her electric scooter.

But she couldn’t fit a whole bear on the back of it.

Well, I believe hospital beds have wheels.

I can probably tie Peter’s bed to the back of my bicycle, and tow him home.

I think that is the best plan.

I’ll need a rope. And my bicycle helmet. And a mask, for going into the hospital.

Then I’ll make some sandwiches and set off.

Poor old Peter.

I hope I succeed in kidnapping him.

I’ve been feeling feeble and useless lately. It’s nice to be needed.

rescuing cousin Peter, and Brussels sprouts

31st december 2022

It’s such a busy time of the year, what with keeping warm, and mending woolly clothing, and rescuing cousins.

My poor cousin Peter fell downstairs. He was badly bumped, and had to go to hospital.

They wanted to keep him in, to keep an eye on him.

But he wasn’t happy there, so I rather rashly promised to get him out.

I wasn’t sure if I’d even be allowed into the hospital. But nothing venture, nothing gain.

I took just minimal luggage, and set off.

My bicycle helmet isn’t compatible with my anorak hood, and I decided to choose warmth over safety. I wouldn’t be very safe on the roads if my brain froze, would I?

It was quite an expedition. It was during that cold patch we had,

The roads were quite treacherous, and it took much longer to reach the hospital than I’d expected.

But no one stopped me from going into the hospital.

The next challenge was to find where in the hospital cousin Peter might be.

Those long corridors, with their bright lights, and directions to all kinds of departments, are very confusing.

That’s interesting.

I know about donating blood, but I’d never realised that old tissues could be re-used. What a good idea. I hope that was the right box that I put my tissue in.

I found Cousin Peter in the end.

He was looking rather poorly. I was afraid the doctors might be right about keeping him in hospital.

But he perked up when he saw me.

I didn’t want anyone to find us, and stop us leaving.

We succeeded in getting out without being challenged.

It wasn’t a strike day for health workers, but I suppose the staff are all so busy that they can’t be expected to notice a bed or two disappearing.

My rope worked well, and Peter said that the ride was not too bumpy.

On the way home, we had a serious political discussion. It’s easy to talk about important issues to Peter, because he’s not one of these intellectual people, who make things complicated.

We happened to go past a Young Malefactors Institution.

I knew really that it wasn’t the prison where our friend Ruffy is incarcerated, because I’ve phoned all the official prisons, and they’ve all told me that they haven’t got him.

But I waved anyway, just in case.

Oh dear, I wish he could hear me.

I wish I could find him.

I’ll need a ramp up to this door before I’m very much older, if I’m going to keep inviting my friends round.

Anyway, if it’s going to be Christmas soon, I’d better put the tree up.

Oh dear, I haven’t got a present for Peter. What can I do?

I did have some chocolate in the cupboard, but I ate it when I was feeling discouraged one day.

I could wrap up a book for him. I have a Maori dictionary, and a bible.

But those are useful reference books, so I probably shouldn’t give them away.

I have an interesting book about Fundamental Rights in the European Community.

But it’s not very festive.

I’ll have to work hard on the low notes. And perhaps we could think of some slower tunes.

Ring-ring. Ring-ring.

Who’s that, I wonder?

I’ve got some Brussels sprouts. I think they’re the only really crucial thing, don’t you?