Author: Tom

Look who’s home.

The stork’s back on his hook.

He’s been away in Mali all winter. I expect it was nice and warm there.

The cuckoos are both back too, in and on the clock.

I don’t know where they go to in winter. I’ve never succeeded in communicating with them.

Apparently many cuckoos like the edges of the Congo rain forest.

It’s so good to see them all again. And hear them.

They just missed getting listed in The Census.

Actually, don’t tell the Prime Minister, but I wouldn’t have put them down on the list anyway.

I was trying to work out what to fill in for Um, because I really don’t know any of her details at all.

I don’t know her full name, or her ethnic origin, or whether she has any religious or non-religious belief.

When I tried to ask her, and showed her the form, she got very agitated.

I think she’d rather stay under the radar.

And it might be the same for the cuckoos and the stork. I don’t know what their immigration status is.

So as far as The Census is concerned, I’m living alone.

Historians of the future will never know about the richness and diversity of our little household.

They’ll be ignorant of quite a lot. The questions in the Census don’t cover much of the important stuff.

Lopsy and I have been practising our zoom duet.

Lopsy says she’s not good at reading standard musical notation, so I found some music written in zoomy lines, much easier than crotchets and quavers.

I didn’t like to tell Lopsy that she’s reading the music sideways.

It wasn’t originally scored for harmonica, but I think that was a mistake by the composer.

Lopsy is interpreting the lines quite freely, and I’m fitting in around her.

It’s good that she’s exploring different dynamics.

You may be able to hear the Baby joining in with the Vitamin D tablets. I think it’s a rather talented little bear.

Bimbo and Points have already recorded their duet on ocarina and bugle.

Poor Bimbo. He used to love playing in brass bands and silver bands and wind bands.

We must work harder on our parts in his Zoom Ensemble, so that at least he gets the pleasure of directing beautiful music.

Seaford is without a duet partner at the moment.

Bimbo had paired him with Monkey, but at the moment Monkey is too busy to practise playing his pipe.

He’s looking after Bunce and Snowy, who caught the Virus, and he’s running their farm for them.

I’ll bake some brownies to send to them. I know they like to eat only wholesome food, but you can take things too far.

Since brownies are so brown, they should be quite healthy, shouldn’t they?

The cuckoos and the stork may be glad of something filling too, after their long flight.

Lopsy brought the Baby home just as I was melting half a pound of butter and stirring in a pound of sugar. Energy for the invalids.

It’s so kind of Lopsy to take the Baby out every day. It makes my life a lot easier.

I just noticed Um and the Stork scuttling away together into the airing cupboard. That’s one of Um’s favourite hiding places.

Perhaps the Stork speaks the same language as Um. That will be nice for her.

I’d better make sure they’re not disturbed.

Let’s do some more baking, Baby. We’ll make nourishing brownies to send to Bunce and Snowy.

You like helping with baking, don’t you, Baby?

But maybe we should get you cleaned up a bit before your mother sees you.

Into the bath with you, Baby, and we’ll give you a good scrub.

That’s the first time the Baby’s been washed for many a week. We probably should do it more often.

This morning, after the Baby had set out for its run in the park with Lopsy,

I took advantage of the peace and quiet to have a nice cup of tea, and consider the question of Um.

I thought of offering a cup of tea to her, but she was hiding again.

I worry about her.

She shouldn’t be living with a boring old bear like me.

Of course we’re all isolated at the moment, but she doesn’t even have anyone to text or phone or email.

I suppose she left her friends and family behind in the place that she came from. Wherever that was.

I don’t know much about her.

We met when I was camping at the seaside.

I went for a last stroll on the beach before bed one evening, and that’s when I came on Um.

She was wet and cold, and very tired and frightened.

I don’t know how she’d got there.

Later I discovered that she had a baby in her pocket.

After I’d got them dry and warm and fed and rested, we set off to walk home.

It would have been a very long trudge, all the way home from the seaside. And I didn’t really know the route.

Luckily the Invisible Friend turned up and gave us a ride home in her school bus.

Got us here just in the nick of time before the Second Lockdown began.

I think Um is a little more relaxed now, but I wouldn’t say she’s got over her trauma.

I’ll consult my friends about finding out what language she speaks, and working out what plans we should be making for her and the Baby.

That’s probably enough thinking about Um for now.

But I’ll put out a cup of tea and a banana, for her to have when she comes out of hiding.

Now, I may have mentioned, maybe even twice, that I have a key.

It’s quite an unusual one.

At the beginning of Lockdown, I decided to sort out my possessions. The key was one of the things that turned up.

I should confess that I still haven’t quite finished finding a place for everything.

I’ve been trying out the key on many people and things that I thought might need to be wound up.

I offered to help the guardsman, even though his hat is made of you-know-what.

Actually, maybe it isn’t. Now I come to think of it, it looks more like tin. So I’m glad I did offer to help him.

But the key didn’t fit him. It didn’t fit any of them.

However, today a postcard came through the door. That doesn’t often happen.

I know I shouldn’t pick the post up straight away, in case the poor postperson has been exposed to the Virus on someone’s doorbell or letterbox, and has then infected my letters.

So I read the card as it lay on the mat.

It’s from my friend Viol Teddy, suggesting I go and join him for a swim in his bird-bath, when we’re allowed to travel and socialise again.

On the writing side, there’s a small picture of Alice-in-Wonderland.

That made me impatient to see what the main picture was, so without contaminating my paws, I flipped the card over with a spoon.

The picture is of the White Rabbit, checking the time on his watch.

It’s a pocket-watch, on a chain, and that’s given me an idea.

I think I know what may need my key to wind it up – my great-grandfather’s pocket-watch.

But where is it? I haven’t seen it for a long time.

I wonder if Viol Teddy would like to join Bimbo’s Zoom Ensemble.

I looked out some zoomy music that Lopsy and I could play together.

But it was quite a short practice.

That was the Baby arriving home. The doorbell is quite mellifluous, isn’t it?

I rode my bicycle to the Vaccination Centre.

I was a bit out of practice, but I hardly fell off at all.

The Vaccination Centre was very well organised.

A helpful rabbit outside showed me exactly where to park my bicycle, and then a green bear asked me to sanitise my paws, and a mouse took my details, and from there I just had to follow the arrows until I arrived at the actual vaccination point.

I took off my reflective cycling jacket. But then I was a little embarrassed, because my jersey is quite tight, and I couldn’t roll the sleeve up far enough.

Of course when I got home, I was tired after all that bicycling.

And then I began to feel a bit cold and shaky.

Luckily my kind cousin Peter has sent me a beautiful knitted thing. He says it’s a scawl or sharf. It’s very cosy.

I wrapped myself up in it, and then I had to find a way of keeping the Baby occupied, that wouldn’t need much energy on my part.

I’ve noticed that the Baby is very interested in numbers.

When young Didcot saw my slate a few years ago, he thought it was from my own school days.

But it does come in handy, since I don’t have a blackboard.

I don’t seem to have my Ludo board any more, but this game is just as good for us.

I throw the dice, and the Baby jumps the right number of jumps along the line.

It seems happy to do it over and over again.

Now it’s learnt how to roll the dice for itself.

I went to check that the paint had dried on the birthday card that I was making for Dorset Monkey.

Oh. I wonder who did that?

Bright and cheerful. A splash of yellow is always nice.

I expect Dorset Monkey will like it.

It’s still a bit sticky. I’d better put the paints away before anyone has any more creative ideas.

And then I think I’ll lie down.

I’ll soon be 59% to 86% less likely to be hospitalised if I catch the Virus.

RING RING! RING RING!

Oh, there’s the telephone. That’s the trouble with sleeping in the daytime.

I feel quite woozy now. Poor nurses. I’d better concentrate on recovering so that they don’t have me to look after as well as everyone else.

Yes, Baby, that’s six. Go and jump!

Ellie’s idea of sleep training the Baby isn’t going very well.

I think I may have to resign myself to only sleeping when the Baby sleeps.

But it is sleeping a bit more, now that kind Lopsy is taking it out every day for some exercise.

Dillion told me how to bake Welsh speckled bread.

The baby and I had a go at it. That’s bara brith, Baby.

It came out very well.

I gave Um a slice.

I think she liked it better than Monkey’s doughnut.

But I thought the doughnut was delicious. I phoned Monkey to thank him for it.

I’d forgotten about Dorset Monkey’s birthday.

I’d better make him a birthday card.

Oh, look at the time! I should be setting off for my injection.

I’ll leave the paint to dry for now, and I’ll tidy up the paints later.

I’ll go on my bicycle.

I’ve been staying indoors since my great seaside expedition, so I’m a bit out of practice.

But the Vaccination Centre isn’t as far away as the seaside. I’m sure I can manage it.

I’ll soon be half-way to being nearly Virus-proof.

Oh dear, I hope Bunce and Snowy will be all right.

My kind friend Lopsy comes round each morning, to take the Baby for a run round the park.

The Baby has been waking early and waiting at the window to see Lopsy arrive, so I think it must be enjoying the outings.

Just after they’d set off today, two letters came in the post.

I used to leave the post for a day or two, so that the Virus could disperse.

But the Baby enjoys shredding any kind of paper, so these days I put on my gloves, and clean the letters, and read them before it’s too late.

One of today’s was a note from Monkey. It was written on the back of a bill for ten kilograms of icing sugar and eight bottles of E124 food colouring.

He says he’s going back down to Outermost Wessex to help with the sowing and planting, because Bunce and Snowy are not feeling well.

Oh dear, I hope they’re all right. They live out in the middle of nowhere, so they surely can’t have caught the Virus. Perhaps they’ve just got a sniffle from all this cold weather we’ve been having.

Monkey’s having to get rid of his kebab-van stock. He says he’s left one of his doughnuts on my doorstep. That’s very kind of him.

Sure enough, there was a box outside the door, with a beautiful doughnut in it.

I gave the box a wipe and called Um.

She took one look at the doughnut and put it in the bin.

I tried to ask her why, but we failed to communicate.

Jenny’s right. We do need to find a solution to this communication problem.

Perhaps Um thinks the sugar would be bad for the Baby’s teeth. I’m not sure that it has any teeth. It certainly hasn’t bitten me yet.

Though now I come to think of it, Bimbo’s father used to have a bad reaction to pink food colouring, so Um may be right about the doughnut.

Of course I got it out of the bin, and hid it so that I can enjoy it on my own later on. I think I can manage a bit of sugar and E124.

But I was sad that Um wouldn’t try it. I think she could do with a treat.

I’ll cook her something pure, that she can’t disapprove of.

The Baby might enjoy baking with me. We’ll make something when it gets back from its run in the park.

The other letter was from the NHS.

Um was interested in the page about languages other than English – Arabic, Bengali, Spanish, Farsi, all sorts of languages. Perhaps she’ll be able to tell me which one she speaks.

If it turns out that her language is Tagalog, should I stop learning Welsh, and switch to Tagalog?

Dw i’n hoffi dysgu Cymraeg, ond hoffen i gallu siarad ag Um.

But the subject of the letter is that I’m invited to get my Covid vaccination!

That’s exciting news. I’ll ring and tell Ruffy.

It will be Lopsy bringing the Baby back after their run.

Thanks, Lopsy!

Of course I enjoy the peace and quiet while the Baby’s out, but it is nice to have it home again.

Oh Baby, do you think that’s really a good idea?

Last night Um and the Baby and I had a lovely tin of beans for supper.

We all felt drowsy afterwards.

The Baby snuggled up in Um’s pouch and actually fell asleep. That doesn’t often happen.

I would have loved to go straight to bed too. I have been feeling quite tired.

But Ellie had kindly set up the next Book Club meeting to be specially helpful for me, so I couldn’t miss it.

By the way, I’ve resumed my duties as curator of the Book Club page. If you go there, you can see all the books we’ve read.

I chose an uncluttered and comfortable background, and got ready to Zoom.

So it was an encouraging meeting, and I promised that I’d make a start on one of the useful books.

Before I went on my bicycle ride, I was busy with a lot of things.

I was working on my triangle-playing for the Zoom Ensemble that Bimbo’s organising.

You can hear me on the Zoom Ensemble page. I was playing rather more silverily then. I’m afraid I’ve got a bit rusty lately.

I was learning to speak Welsh.

I was doing yoga.

I was doing some experimental cooking.

I was reading books for Ellie’s Book Club.

Teddy was encouraging me to make masks on my sewing machine for people who need them.

But then I went off on my bicycle expedition.

I didn’t realise I was going to be away for so long. The seaside was much further off than I’d realised.

And since I got back, the Baby has been taking up a lot of my time.

(I meant to give it just the little snippets of string to play with, but somehow it found that big ball.

I’d better put it away out of reach as soon as I can. I don’t want the Baby to strangulate itself.)

So what with one thing and another, all those jobs have been neglected for quite a while.

Oh yes, and also I was tidying up, and sorting out a big boxful of different things.

One thing that turned up in the box was a key, and I set myself the task of finding what the key was for.

I did rule out a lot of things that it wasn’t for.

I was very busy. No wonder I needed a holiday.

I almost need a rest now, just thinking about all these things waiting to be done.

I’ll try to multi-task. I’ll start up my yoga app, and set up my triangle, and get the key, and see if I can combine them all. And practise some Welsh at the same time.

I can use the key for playing the triangle.

Dw i’n joio chwarae’r triongl ac dw i’n joio gwneud yoga.

Well, the key is not the perfect beater for the triangle.

And unfortunately the Baby likes to swing on the triangle.

I have an idea.

Look Baby, this bag is full of marbles. You can put a marble in each of these holes.

It likes that. Perhaps it has a special talent for tidying up.

While it’s busy, I’ll pursue my key investigation.

Let’s try the fairground ride.

It was made in Japan, but the writing is in American. I’ll translate it.

It means “Holiday land aeroplane ride”.

If only I’d remembered that I had this, perhaps it would have been enough to make Walrus feel he was at the seaside.

Can I wind it up? Yes I can, but it doesn’t need my key.

If you look at the box as well as the roundabout, you can enjoy most of the elements of a good funfair in the comfort of your own home.

We could have set up a whole seaside scene.

I could have invited Walrus to come and enjoy it, six feet six and two thirds inches apart, and then he wouldn’t have felt the need to go off to the seaside in real life.

Which was a reckless thing to do, in this pandemic. I hope he won’t get arrested.

This is an immersive experience, with sounds and sights and ice cream.

The weather was chilly when I was at the seaside, so it’s very realistic.

I think I’ve got an old 78 somewhere, of fairground organ music.

Yes, here it is. His Master’s Voice.

Listen, it’s a Marenghi organ, with 92 keys.

Can you hear the triangle? So pure and silvery, you can’t help seeing the beautiful organ in your mind’s eye.

But I shouldn’t be sitting around listening to old music.

It’s not the time of year for swimming trunks or ice cream.

Better get back into my warm clothes, and get things done.

Oh, there’s the phone.

That’s a very good idea.

It’s so good to get advice from someone who really knows about babies.

We’re all locked down.

Of course some people still have to go to work.

Ellie is going in to work at her nursery.

Little Strawberry is working as a volunteer, helping old people to get to their vaccinations.

I wonder when I’ll get the vaccine.

I’m not eighty yet, so I suppose I’ll have to wait till the really old bears have been done.

My friends are all being very sensible about the Virus.

The ones who are old or vulnerable, like me, are staying at home.

The others are very kindly running errands for those of us who can’t go out.

They all wear their masks, and keep their distance from other people.

So I was surprised when Walrus telephoned.

Oh dear oh dear.

I wanted to telephone Monkey straight away and beg him not to drive Walrus to the seaside.

Monkey’s young and impulsive, and I’m sure he’d be easily persuaded.

But on second thoughts, I decide to telephone Ruffy instead, and ask him to have a word with Monkey.

I’ll ask Bimbo to have a word with Walrus.

Bimbo should be persuasive, with his first hand experience of the Virus.

So there’s nothing I can do about stopping Walrus.

I suppose it was a mistake to mention what fun we’d had at the seaside.

The Baby and I did only go on the roundabout at night, when there was no one else around, but we shouldn’t really have been at the funfair at all.

It’s so easy to get carried away and forget about the Virus.

I wanted to give the Baby a little treat. It had had such a hard time.

Which reminds me – where is the Baby?

Oh Baby, no! Come down! That light bulb is hot!

I hope Ellie hurries up and brings round the books she’s going to lend me about how to tame babies.

Perhaps I have got a bit too relaxed about the Virus. On my cycle trip I was generally in wide open spaces, and keeping well away from other people.

It’s hard to get back in the habit of caution, and everyone seemed  to relax over Christmas.

But Ruffy says the Science shows we must be more careful than ever, to avoid catching the New Variant.

Well, if I had it, I’d go to bed and stay there till I got better.

I have a nice home. It’s no problem to stay here.

Lopsy came round to bring the blanket that she’s knitted for the Baby.

We shouted to each other through the crack of the door. She said she was two metres away, and wearing a mask, but I didn’t see her.

Meanwhile, I’ll dream about dreaming.

My friends were right, and I was wrong.

The day after I went round taking seashells to all of them, it really was Christmas.

So at least they didn’t need another present, because they’d each had a seashell.

It’s years since I was awake for Christmas day. I’m usually in the cupboard.

Luckily I do have some Christmas badges from long ago, so I chose one of them for today.

I don’t know whether Um normally celebrates Christmas, but I thought I should do my best for her and the Baby.

I got out the Christmas tree.

Of course it was all a bit chaotic.

Ruffy phoned to tell me the new rules about the Virus.

That seemed a bit rude to me.

So I quickly threaded a necklace for her.

She put it on, so I think she liked it.

The Baby wasn’t very interested in its present, but it had fun with the wrapping paper.

I wasn’t sure what to do about Christmas dinner.

I’ve heard that some people celebrate by eating a bird. I wouldn’t criticise them. It’s their culture.

My friend Edward is one of those people. This year he’s got a goose.

But I’m vegetarian. And anyway I hadn’t done any shopping.

Someone had given me an enormous tin of rice pudding. I thought at least the Baby wasn’t likely to choke on that.

I found a nice Christmassy tablecloth.

I avoided crackers. I was worried that the bang might frighten Um. Also I didn’t have any.

And I thought it better not to try setting fire to a pudding. I know it’s a risky process, having burnt my paw the last time I tried it.

So we had a simple meal, but it was very nice.

And then we all had a nap.

I think that went off pretty well.

Although we didn’t have any visitors, it turned out to be a more sociable Christmas than I ever had in the old days.

That’s because everyone was sad at not having a big Christmas party, so they all phoned me instead.

So that’s what I did, when they phoned to wish me a merry Christmas.

Gibbs and Points had both chosen secular songs.

Dillion has made amazing progress on the harp that I sent him from Wales.

I’ve thought of a suitable Christmas song to play.

Oh dear, I’m very out of practice. My tone is not as pure and silvery as I’d like.

But I was right. The Baby does like the triangle very much.

Perhaps I’d better try my bagpipes instead.

It’s not very easy to concentrate while I’m being decorated with coloured paper, but at least the Baby doesn’t want to play with the bagpipes.